Mentally Preparing for Birth

When it comes to preparing for birth, there is so much focus on the physical aspects- what to eat or not eat, prenatal vitamins, stretches, exercises, and birth positions- but the mental side of birth is just as crucial. I would even argue that mentally preparing for birth is far more important. Whether you’re a first time mom or you have been through labor before, mentally preparing can profoundly shape your birth experience. 

Why it Matters

Birth is intense. It will demand a lot from you. It will bring you to the edge of yourself, and if you aren’t prepared, you won’t have the tools to pull from. Your mental strength will carry you through when your physical strength has run out. When we mentally prepare for birth, it rewires our brain with positivity, safety, and confidence in our body. We learn to trust the process and ourselves as we mentally prepare for birth. 

What is Mental Preparing for Birth?

I recently had a client ask me, “so what actually is mental prep?” She said that she had been listening to positive birth stories and every one talked about mentally preparing for birth, but she had no idea what that looked like in real life. 

Here are a few thoughtful tools to help you mentally prepare for birth:

Relaxation

Completely relaxing during every contraction is the foundation of working through the intensity of labor, but most of us don’t know how to physically or mentally relax. We have to be intentional about teaching our mind and body to feel safe. Mindfulness practices like meditation or deep breathing can help you stay present during labor. Simple breathing patterns—like inhaling slowly for four counts and exhaling for six can help you feel grounded. Verbal cues like “soften your shoulders” or “slow down your breathing” from a partner can remind you to stay in the moment. Guided meditations can help you learn to fully relax, both in pregnancy and in labor. 

Acknowledge your Fears

Ignoring your fears doesn’t make them disappear; in fact, it usually makes them grow stronger. Naming your fears and saying them out loud often takes away some of their power rather than just letting them linger inside your head. Perhaps the biggest mental preparation you can do is to accept that you can't control birth. Write your fears down or talk about them with your partner, your doula, or your care provider. Talking through those concerns can help you let them go or come up with a solution for how you are feeling. I often feel this is more important for a mom who has gone through labor before. 

Visualizations 

Visualization can be a powerful tool. Spend a few minutes each day imagining yourself laboring. Visualize each stage of labor progressing smoothly; picture your body opening, your baby coming down, and achieving the birth of your dreams. Creating a special space where you practice your visualizations can be really helpful. If you have a special pillow you snuggle, photo you stare at, a candle you light, or music you lean into during those practice sessions, make sure to include them in your real birth space. These focal points become a sense of security, bringing calm into your environment and peace to your mental and emotional space. 

Rewriting your Script

Positive affirmations can rewrite the story we tell ourselves. We’ve all been there—telling ourselves something that we would never say to a friend or repeating a lie that we just can’t get away from. Choosing a birth affirmation, or a few, is a great way to overcome that negative script. Start with something general like, “I was made to give birth,” or choose an affirmation that speaks to the type of birth you are hoping for, like, “I will birth my baby in the comfort of my home.” It doesn’t really matter what you choose, but we have to hear it in order to believe it. Say the affirmations out loud, especially leading up to delivery, and have your partner use them during labor. This is another great way to move through fear and help you stay present during birth. 

Final Thoughts 

Preparing mentally doesn’t guarantee a "perfect" birth experience, but it can make you feel more empowered, no matter how your story unfolds. Birth is powerful, primal, and sometimes wild. The preparation is less about having a plan to follow and more about building resilience, strength, and confidence. The more times we practice relaxation, let go of our fears, use visualization, and hear our affirmations, the more solid our mental strength will be. 

You are strong. You are capable. You are going to have a positive birth experience.